I was dreading getting on the scale today – this is my fourth week on Weight Watchers – and I guess with good reason. I’ve been feeling pretty static lately, though I’ve been sticking loyally with my exercise and diet routine.
I believe I’ve lost weight, I can see it and feel it in my old clothes. They’re getting looser and more comfortable to wear. And yet, I don’t feel like I have; I don’t have that internal sensation that I’ve done a good job and surely I must have lost some weight this last week. I reckon part of that is that I had my period spanning the last week and the one before that, so I saw 0.5lb. That week I felt gross, bloated, and just generally lethargic. That’s how I tend to feel during that time of month, but it wore me down and the slow results on the scale bummed me out. I remained positive – a loss is a loss, after all, and though it was far less than I hoped for, I was happy that at least I was going in the right direction.
This last week since then I was careful to watch what I ate. I cut down seriously on my meat consumption, upped my veggies. I haven’t gorged myself silly or gone over my points allowance. I’ve actually done rather well in the food department.
Problem was, last night I had an evil bout of stomach issues, and today, I’m still battling cramps, bloating and all that general nastiness. I’ve put off getting on the scale because again, that feeling of not achieving anything has settled upon me. I just feel gross, like I need a shower, a long book and some time in the bathroom.
Enough with the details. I was right – I gained back what I lost and I’m back to where I was two weeks ago. Blegh. I feel dejected. I don’t expect to lose an insane amount of weight, but I expect to at least LOSE and not GAIN. The feeling of being setback a fortnight sucks and angers me, like the 32 miles I’ve walked and jogged, the careful eating, has amounted to diddly squat. It’s kinda given my enthusiasm a blow, and I’m a little depressed.
On top of this, the weather is taken a suddenly cooler turn compared to the last couple of weeks, and my knees were giving me problems on Sunday during my last jog. My endurance has greatly improved – I can jog the distance and my heart rate and breathing are much better – but my knees were back to square one. I don’t know if it was from the cold, the impact, wearing them out or whatever, but that last jogging session sucked. I barely made my requisite half-mile distance. I wanted to stop, but I’m a stubborn mule so I kept at it. The results, though, is that I don’t want to go back out there and experience the same discomfort, so I’m balking.
Last night I didn’t get much sleep – I tossed and turned for 2 hours and got up after 3 hours of fitful sleep – and I’m tired, moody, bloated, dejected. I need to walk today but I really can’t bring myself to do it right now. I figure I’ll have a drink, maybe take a nap, and wake up refreshed and with a better outlook. I probably will walk – I haven’t yet let myself down in that department – but I’m just wallowing in my apathy right now. Blegh!